Dating Tips for ADHD and Neurotypical Daters
Key Insights from Hinge's 2024 Report
Today’s Tuesday Tips is about dating.
I received this Hinge dating report in my email a few weeks ago, and I love that they did this report.
It has insights from over 9,000 ADHD users and reveals key trends to help neurodivergent and neurotypical daters connect better.
Highlights:
75% of ADHD daters feel misunderstood due to communication differences.
ADHD users are 31% more likely to prefer deep conversations over small talk.
Slow response times often reflect distraction, not disinterest.
Tips:
ADHD daters: Set clear expectations, suggest faster platforms, and meet sooner to avoid burnout.
Neurotypical daters: Be patient with response times, embrace deeper conversations, and understand that lengthy text exchanges are less preferred than meeting up.
Understanding different communication styles can help here, and I love that this big dating site is considering this!
Have a good week,
Thanks for reading Flourish.
It’s been so long since my “online dating” experience (I used Match to meet my husband), but I have been thinking about it because October is when my husband and I officially defined our relationship and became a couple in 2011 (we have been married since August 2013). I definitely preferred meeting up pretty soon- we had some lengthy exchanges the first couple days after I messaged him when he was in my daily matches, but he asked me out on the second day of talking which I appreciated. We had our first date on a Sunday after starting to talk on Thursday night.
I preferred talking in depth on our first date, and he was in get to know you mode (I remember him talking a lot just like me- he does not have ADHD, and at the time I didn’t know I did either; I just always thought I talked a lot, but I found out about my ADHD after our daughter was born so I was finally aware of it in 2020 when I was 32).
I definitely think a big factor in me wanting to be with my husband was that he was not being indecisive like some of the other guys I was dating. When we went on our first date I was still dating two other guys (I had only been on a few dates with each guy). One had been seeing a lot of other girls, and once I met my husband who seemed more all in on me from day one, I told this other guy I just didn’t see it with us.
The other guy I had been on a few dates with (including a third date the night before I went on my first date with my husband where we watched Something’s Gotta Give- one of my faves) decided he felt insecure that I still wasn’t ready to pick him and told me he didn’t want to see me anymore a few days after I started dating my husband. I am grateful he removed himself because he was nice, but insecure guys and I really don’t work because I am the type to get distracted by something and not respond and the insecure types get offended.
So ultimately my online dating basically confirmed my interest in my now husband very quickly, and despite the fact that he clearly didn’t have ADHD, he helped me by being extremely secure and confident in the fact that he knew I liked him from day 1 and not ever seeming worried about the other guys I was dating when we met.