People Pleasing

When you are making a choice, do you wonder if other people will be mad or upset with you?

Many ADHD girls learn to center their decisions on other people’s needs and reactions.

This makes perfect sense.

Shame, criticism, conflict and rejection could be avoided more easily by doing this. But where were your needs in this equation?

Caring about others isn’t a problem. Being a kind, thoughtful and considerate person is a strength.

But sometimes your choices and decisions will disappoint others, and you need to make them anyway because they are the right choice for you in the moment.

As an adult, you have more freedom than as a child. You can learn to make choices that are not solely based on that people pleasing part.

You can learn to have more trust in yourself, and your needs.

Start practicing asking yourself these questions

• What do I want?

• What do I have the energy for?

• What matters to me?

• What choice respects my needs?

  

What choices would you start to make differently if you believed you were allowed to have needs too?

Who am I?

I’m Kristen McClure, MSW, LCSW, a therapist, writer, and educator with more than 30 years of experience supporting women, children, and neurodivergent people.

I run coaching groups and a therapy practice focused on ADHD women.

Thanks for reading today’s newsletter.

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