Your To-Do List Isn't Working (And It's Not Your Fault)
You've been told that if you just get organized enough, disciplined enough, or find the right planner, your ADHD brain will finally cooperate.
But every time you fail at another rigid system, you think
"I'm just not trying hard enough."
Wrong. The system is designed for neurotypical brains.
Learning to work with your natural rhythms instead of against them is the essence of self-trust—and it's revolutionary for women who have spent their lives thinking they are broken.
The Problem With Rigid Systems
What I see in my practice is exhaustion. ADHD women come to me, forcing themselves to do "focus work" at 2 pm when their brain checked out hours ago. Or beating themselves up for not being able to tackle that overwhelming project when they're already running on empty.
You have energy rhythms, and if you're a woman, hormones are part of this equation.
Some days (and weeks), you're sharp and creative. Others, you are more scattered, exhausted, and dysregulated.
For example, you might have more energy and focus around ovulation, while the week before your period may call for extra rest and self-compassion.
Fighting these natural rhythms is like swimming upstream—exhausting and ineffective.
However, when you start matching tasks to your actual energy, everything shifts.
What Working With Your Brain Looks Like
Instead of a rigid to-do list that makes you feel like a failure, you can match tasks to your actual energy.
🟢 High energy? Dive into that complex project and use the momentum.
🟢 Low energy? Choose lower-effort tasks, such as preparing snacks or light organizing.
🟢 PMS or overwhelmed? Lower your expectations; prioritize hydration, food, and rest.
This isn't lazy—it's honoring the reality of having an ADHD brain in a female body.
In fact, this approach often leads to getting more done because you're not fighting yourself every step of the way.
Practical Ways to Start Energy Matching
Check in with your current energy state before deciding what to tackle next.
Ask yourself: "What type of energy do I have right now—none, low, medium, or high?
Create simple categories for your tasks:
🟢 High Energy (green battery) – Deep Work: writing, planning, creative thinking
🟡 Medium Energy (yellow battery) – Steady Tasks: emails, errands, light organizing
🔴 Low Energy (red battery) – Restorative Actions: walking, stretching, snacking
⚫ No Energy (empty/black battery) – Full Rest: napping, lying down, doing nothing
Honor your hormonal patterns.
By tracking which weeks you feel more energized and which require extra self-compassion, adjust your expectations accordingly.
Give yourself permission to switch tasks when there's a mismatch.
If you planned to write but feel scattered, it's okay to choose something that fits your current capacity.
Start small with this approach.
Pick one task today and notice: does this match my energy right now? If not, what would?
What would change if you trusted your body's signals about energy instead of forcing yourself through tasks that don't fit your current capacity?
The Shift We Need
You don't have to force productivity.
You can trust your body's signals and still accomplish your goals.
This might feel scary if you've spent years overriding your needs and ignoring what your body tells you about energy, focus, and hormonal shifts.
But your energy isn't something to manage or fix—it's information. That’s right, energy is information. It’s meant to help you make choices about what you should be doing, not meant to be overridden or pushed through.
You push through because you've been conditioned to ignore your body's signals and taught to mask your needs to meet society's expectations.
The goal is to start listening to your body instead of fighting it.
If it’s not perfect, that’s okay.
➡️ Some days, you’ll forget.
➡️ Some days, nothing will feel right.
➡️ Some days, you’ll still have to do tasks that don’t match your energy—deadlines exist.
That’s being human.
You’re learning to work with yourself instead of against yourself—
and that’s real resistance. 💥
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